This article is classified "Real"
It's crazy to think that society on the planet Earth has developed so far,
and still retains such primitive and weird customs. You can guarantee
that, if we ever have proper interstellar contact with any other life form,
a conversation in which we are both informing each other of our
capabilities will run along the lines of a statement, followed by a return
statement which roughly doubles the previous one.
The usual formula for such an conversation/arguement will be as follows:
* Person1 = statement
* Person2 = statement X 2
* Person1 = statement + arguement2
* Person2 = arguement2 X 2
* Person1 = arguement2 X 4
To be repeated until both parties are bored or dead, or in extreme cases,
both.
This roughly mirrors the conversational technique of any two people picked
out at random, that are determined to put forward their major view, which
is that they are the best. Though this is a manner usually reserved for
children, the age is never significant.
An example communication will be something like this:
Human: We are a peaceful race who abolished cruel weapons 50
years ago.
Alien: Well, we abolished cruel and evil weapons 100 years ago!
Human: We've got two arms.
Alien: Well, we've got three!
Human: You made that up! Anyway, we have two legs.
Alien: Only two?
Human: Don't say it... You have three?
Alien: No. Four.
This conversation will run for quite some time, and as it goes further on,
things will become a little more heated, and each party will then concede
less and less:
Human: What do you mean, "Only five fingers"!?
Alien: Our race have as many as seven!
Human: Well, we have another five on the other hand!
Alien: Oh, well, on the other two hands, we have another seven.
Human: Okay, but we have five toes on each foot too!
Alien: Only a puny species would have toes on their feet. We
don't need those.
Human: Oh sure... Well, why not?
Alien: We have four heads.
As you can see, in the event of any inability to enhance an aspect of
themselves, the relevant party will then attempt to deny its impact
completely.
Eventually, of course, the conversation will drift away into infinity, and
both parties will be left to consider what a total arse they have made of
themselves, and to think about how they will explain to their friends that
they "won".
It is this method of argument that has for so long dominated the lives of
anybody who is overwilling to portray themselves as "better" than everyone
else. In the end, of course, exaggeration can lead to a call for "proof"
which usually results in both parties having to admit that they were lying
all along, and that they probably just got "carried away".