This article is classified "Real"
Zapping is one way to avoid being contaminated by all the television
commercials that most TV channels are polluting the air with. There
exist other possibilities for a person that wants to avoid television
commercials. One drastic solution is to sell your TV, which in any case
known to mankind has been 100 per cent successful, but also quite boring.
Another way to avoid TV commercials is to only watch those TV channels
that are broadcasting without any interruptions for commercials. This
works, but will limit your options when searching for an interesting
channel. So, in this article we will deal with zapping as it has become
the best solution for most people.
You will need these items:
1) A device that can receive one or more television channels.
Most people use a TV for this.
2) A remote control that is functioning. Although some people
regard a remote control as a luxury item, the use of one is
vital for comfortable zapping.
3) Something that can press the buttons on the remote control.
Here people prefer a human hand, and for easy control I
suggest one that is connected to your current body.
When you have collected the necessary items, you can continue reading this
article, where the idea behind zapping can be explained. Read carefully
and return to the previous sections when you are in doubt.
Follow these steps when practice zapping:
1) Place yourself so that you can observe what's happening on
the TV screen.
2) Turn the TV on.
3) Select one of the TV channels.
4) Wait until you recognise that a commercial is being broadcast.
(This can be tricky to see but after some years of practice
most people can detect when a commercial is seen.)
5) Push one of the buttons on the remote control to change to
another TV channel.
6) Watch the new TV channel now visible on the screen.
7) If you find that the new channel is transmitting commercials
as well, you have to redo from step 5.
8) When you have found a channel that isn't showing a commercial
right now, you can continue watching until a commercial
appears.
9) If a commercial become visible, you have to go back to step 5.
10) When you get to this step, go back to step 5.
Zapping can of course be used in a wider sense then just avoiding
commercials on TV. It covers every switch you make between TV channels:
between commercials or not. And you don't have to use a remote control.
You could use telekinesis or maybe a long stick for controlling the
buttons on the TV.
There are some more or less serious problems that arise when you get used
to zapping between the TV channels:
1) The most notable problem with zapping is that whenever you
start to zap you can't seem to stop. This can be most
annoying, and much willpower must be used to minimize the time
spent zapping.
2) Simultaneous watching of two or more TV channels can make your
eyes and brain deny access to their basic functionality. Here
is a classic case of overloading which can be avoided after
some training. You have to start with two channels that you
are zapping between, and then add one more channel at the time.
Remember, an expert can watch four channels at the same time.
3) The TV can give up and stop working, because you have put a
blunt object through its screen, because while zapping you
couldn't find any TV channels that didn't show you commercials
all evening.
4) The remote control can suddenly be missing. If this happens,
try to be calm and do a rational search of the surroundings.
Most often the remote is tired of your continuously zapping and
can be found hiding on the floor.
5) If more then one person is present or if you are a bit
schizophrenic, a problem can arise about which channel should
be visible on the TV. Violence is often the only way to solve
this problem.
6) Repetitive strain injures in the hand that performs the action
of pushing the buttons on the remote control that you use to
control the TV screen you are watching. The acronym for this
condition is RSI.
Remember to practice your zapping skills on a regular basis. You don't want
to wake up in front of an unbearable commercial realising that you have
forgotten how to zap with the remote control. Happy zapping :-)