This article is classified "Real"
Here are ten fun ways to liven up your average train journey:
1) While waiting for your train at the station, waste time by
spotting trains. This involves painting filled circles on
the sides of other trains. Please ensure that the train is
stationary, otherwise you will be guilty of Train Striping.
2) When on the train, pretend you're on a roller coaster by
waving your arms in the air whenever the train goes around
a bend.
3) Lean out of the carriage window whilst the train is moving
at high speed, in an attempt to have a limb amputated.
4) Pretend to be rabid, by filling your mouth with Sherbet and
"foaming at the mouth."
5) Listen to some music on a personal stereo. The volume should
be at a sufficient level so that everyone else can hear it
but not quite make out what the tune is.
6) Attempt to consume a hot drink purchased from the Buffet Car.
On English trains, this can be as dangerous as bungee jumping
using dental floss as rope, due to the severe vibrations
typically experienced.
7) Play Strip Dominoes, whilst trying not to get thrown off the
train.
8) Pretend to be members of a rock band by repeatedly singed the
same song over and over again, then smashing up the carriage,
claiming Satan told you to do it.
9) When the ticket inspector asks for your ticket, tell him that
your face is your ticket, and see if he punches it.
10) Annoy the other passengers by typing in Galactic Guide articles
on a laptop computer with a noisy keyboard.